About Me
- Zende
- I am a man about the business of taking care of business, minding my own business and staying out of yours. I don't care what devices people use to separate themselves from others (religion, money, race, gender, class, intelligence etc.) at the end of the day you came from the earth and so shall you return. The only advice I have is try to live and love without fear.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
His name is Steve!!!
Never in life would I imagine or tell my son to leave the way he came. Hell ,I wish it was that easy or that whatever it was could make him change back to normal - would just happen. I'd hope to wake up one day and it be a bad joke. I find myself at times completely and utterly angry at the things I could have done to prevent this horrible embarrassment. Yea, people say "You should see signs, is how you'll know." I didn't see shit!!! Yea I knew he didn't like football but I felt he would come around one day. I would hear his sister yelling something about her dolls but I didn't think nothing of it....the boy was five.
Most times we were together we'd talk about fishing and school, mostly gym and how he loved swimming and not being afraid to shower afterward. Summer camp this year had no negative responses. I thought that was a break-through cause he didn't cry or anything he was quiet the whole way there. I asked Jason if things where okay and his response was a shoulder shrug. While Jason and Lilly were away I thought I could get a little cleaning around the house done. As I was cleaning his closet I noticed a little shoe box under a pile of old books from years ago.
I don't know what told me to open the box, so when did I saw what I thought were love letters to a little girl friend he had, but I was sadly mistaken when a picture fell out of what appears to be some boy with no shirt on in his underwear. On the back of the picture read, 'from your darling Steve'.... I didn't know what to think. Of course I thought this was a mistake til I read the letters they had been mailing each other since summer camp last year. I'LL KILL HIM, I thought to myself. Then, I knew I needed to calm myself because my blood was boiling. I tried to call the camp but I remembered they were going to be hiking to the mountains for two days. I thought when he gets back I'll beat him to death. All kinds of questions were going through my head, 'How long was this going on?' 'What has happened?' 'Did he like it? MY GOD DID HE LIKE IT??? I can't wait til he gets home on Monday...I needed answers. I CAN'T BELIEVE MY SON LIKES BOYS!!!! I'LL KILL HIM.
Most times we were together we'd talk about fishing and school, mostly gym and how he loved swimming and not being afraid to shower afterward. Summer camp this year had no negative responses. I thought that was a break-through cause he didn't cry or anything he was quiet the whole way there. I asked Jason if things where okay and his response was a shoulder shrug. While Jason and Lilly were away I thought I could get a little cleaning around the house done. As I was cleaning his closet I noticed a little shoe box under a pile of old books from years ago.
I don't know what told me to open the box, so when did I saw what I thought were love letters to a little girl friend he had, but I was sadly mistaken when a picture fell out of what appears to be some boy with no shirt on in his underwear. On the back of the picture read, 'from your darling Steve'.... I didn't know what to think. Of course I thought this was a mistake til I read the letters they had been mailing each other since summer camp last year. I'LL KILL HIM, I thought to myself. Then, I knew I needed to calm myself because my blood was boiling. I tried to call the camp but I remembered they were going to be hiking to the mountains for two days. I thought when he gets back I'll beat him to death. All kinds of questions were going through my head, 'How long was this going on?' 'What has happened?' 'Did he like it? MY GOD DID HE LIKE IT??? I can't wait til he gets home on Monday...I needed answers. I CAN'T BELIEVE MY SON LIKES BOYS!!!! I'LL KILL HIM.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Baby Language!
Baby I need you.... Translation: I'm really horny and want you to please me sexually without any questions.
Baby I want to love you forever..Translation: I'm really scared of being alone but I don't know what I want.
Baby I want you to respect me as your lover and friend.... Translation: If I tell you my feelings I need you not to use them against me when we fight...
Baby It don't matter what I want... Translation: I only need my feelings to be heard until I feel that yours matter.
Baby I want whatever you want..Translation: I think that if I say this you will eventually give in to what I want.
Baby I want you to know this...Translation: I'm lying for the most part, but I'm sincere either way.
Baby How Can I make Us Better...Translation: If you know how I feel then why do you bother me with talking about the problems we have?
Baby I want to be better...Translation: I'm really tired and I give in so you win.
Baby I love you....
Baby I want to love you forever..Translation: I'm really scared of being alone but I don't know what I want.
Baby I want you to respect me as your lover and friend.... Translation: If I tell you my feelings I need you not to use them against me when we fight...
Baby It don't matter what I want... Translation: I only need my feelings to be heard until I feel that yours matter.
Baby I want whatever you want..Translation: I think that if I say this you will eventually give in to what I want.
Baby I want you to know this...Translation: I'm lying for the most part, but I'm sincere either way.
Baby How Can I make Us Better...Translation: If you know how I feel then why do you bother me with talking about the problems we have?
Baby I want to be better...Translation: I'm really tired and I give in so you win.
Baby I love you....
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